The Conversations We Avoid In Church

Churches often do an incredible job teaching, God's goodness, salvation through Jesus, identity in Christ. But where things start to feel disconnected is in the "in between spaces" of real life. The messy, quiet, complicated parts of faith that don't always sound polished on a Sunday Morning. Here are a few examples:

• Loving God but struggling with consistency

• Being unequally yoked in marriage

• Saved but still battling strongholds

• Feeling isolated as a single believer

• Wanting community but battling with trust

• Carrying church hurt but still believing in God

• Wanting authenticity but experiencing tradition instead transformation

Why These Conversations Often Don't Happen (my opinion):

1. Discomfort with vulnerability: It's easier to preach victory than to sit in someone's confusion, doubt, or pain. Real conversations require leaders (pastors, evangelist, deacons, teachers, etc...) and believers to admit, "I don't have it all together either."

2. Fear of saying the "wrong" thing: Some churches avoid these topics because they're complex. There isn't always a clean, one-size fits all answer. These types of conversations aren't popular or very appealing to an audience.

3. Performance culture in church: People feel pressure to look "saved" instead of being honest about the sanctification process of becoming whole.

4. Spiritual pride: When pride, entitlement, or offense is present, it shuts down empathy. And without empathy, you get correction without compassion.

What I am saying is, if we are going to have these conversations, don't just throw scripture at me, I need you to relate to me. This doesn't mean I'm rejecting the truth, it means I need scripture plus real-life application, truth, and empathy. Don't be afraid to share your testimony with me because what you may feel was your weakest moment could be exactly what I needed to hear to save my life. Because if we are going to be honest, Jesus didn't just preach, He connected. He met people in their reality before calling them higher. We were all once a part of the world. And I feel like people of the church forget that sometimes. When we remember where God brought us from, it produces:

• Grace instead of judgement

• Patience instead of pressure

• Love instead of condemnation

  
  

That's what spiritual maturity actually looks like.