When the Assignment Matters More than the Applause

I am going to be completely honest......I didn't think my new book, Faithful Journey's: Sisterhood, Love, and Restoration, would take off. I had a lot of fear when creating this book because I know the world we live in people tend to look at your past and let that define who you are. That thought alone made me insecure and made me feel like my voice would not be heard. In my mind I kept telling myself that this isn't the book people want to read. People want drama, thrillers, romance, scandal, erotica. I started to believe that maybe a faith-centered story about healing, sisterhood, and restoration just wouldn't capture the people's attention. And because of that I began to doubt myself. I second guessed everything, over and over again.

Before my journey with Christ became the center of my life, I actually wrote an Urban Romance that leaned into Erotica. I'm not ashamed to say that because it was a part of my journey. That book did really well at first, it was a one hit wonder but over time it slowed down. Looking back, I know part of that was because I didn't do my part in promoting it. So, when I released Faithful Journey's, I found myself comparing the two. At first sales didn't move the way I expected them to or in the way my first book did. I had these big hopes that the book would take off immediately because of all the hard work I put in. I thought that everyone I told about my book (family, friends, co-workers) would buy it without hesitation, but that's not what happened. And I would totally be lying if I said it didn't hurt. I got discouraged. I got frustrated. I even got upset. So, I did what I've learned to do on this journey, I went to God. With that being said, me and big G.O.D had a few words. I told him exactly how I felt. I told him how I was angry and hurt. I told him I was questioning the gift He gave me. Because deep down, I know that the ideas that flow through my mind, the characters I create, and the way my stories just come together isn't just me. This gift came from Him.

So, I asked Him, "Why would you give me this gift if it's not going to even sale? Why have me do this if it won't reach the masses?" And in the quietness of my spirit, I felt a reminder that changed everything. "Didn't I leave the ninety-nine for the one?" THAT HIT ME!!! Because even if my book doesn't reach thousands, if it reaches that one person who needed it, then my assignment was fulfilled. It took me a little while to settle into that truth. But once I did, once I truly surrendered my expectations and placed the outcome in God's hands, something shifted. My book started picking up. My original goal was simple; I wanted to sell 10 books a month. But here's the part that reminds me that God's plans are always bigger than ours. I launched my website on March 1st. As of March 19th, I've already sold over 30 books. God didn't just meet my expectation, He doubled it. What that showed me is something I hope never leaves my heart: When God is the center and the foundation of what you're doing, He will take care of the rest.

Of course, I still have to do the work, I still have to show up, and I still have to walk in obedience. But when you truly surrender the outcome to Him, He has a way of solidifying what He called you to do. So, if you are someone who feels like what God placed in your heart isn't reaching the masses, I want to encourage you with this: If it reaches the one, the assignment was still worth it.